Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?
I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.
Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (I’m not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.
Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.
I want to be clear: I’m not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.
Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, you’re not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.
“Do you like this one?” the cashier asked, ringing me up. “Every man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like,” I replied intensely. “That’ll be $12.01,” she said.
MOUNTAIN LODGE
it literally smells like waking up on a cold night to find a bearded richard armitage adding another quilt to the bed before he gets back in and pulls you snugly against his chest
I’m not fucking around I feel like I should be watching chris hemsworth in flannel and suspenders whittling a delicate masterpiece in front of a fireplace rn
All right, Tumblr, I saw this post a few months ago and immediately realized I had to smell this candle. I have never in my life experienced such a burning need (pun intended) to smell what the Yankee Candle website described as a warm aroma of cedarwood and sage, but what Tumblr described as my new boyfriend.
The trouble is that nearest Yankee Candle Company store was a bit of a trek, and my schedule tended to prohibit this olfactory adventure.
So for the last few weeks, as I’d scroll my Tumblr dash and look at images of attractive manly men, I’d sigh and wistfully think, if only I could engage another sense with this image. If only I could I could truly fathom the ideal fragrance of this man.
And then this happened.
And I knew.
I knew whatever was happening, I needed to get to a Yankee Candle Company. The scent of Mountain Lodge would transport me instantly to this scene. The aroma of this infamous candle could make me live out a self-insertion Avengers fanfic.
So I got in my car, made the drive, and located the Yankee Candle Company. The store was crowded with holiday shoppers. My nose was immediately assaulted by hundreds of warring scents.
I battled through the sea of humanity and the Angel Wings-Merry Marshmallow-Magical Frosted Forest assault, buoyed on by my need to understand what Steve Rogers ripping a log in half with his bare hands smelled like.
I waded toward the back of the store, only to discover the man candle section seems to have been discontinued. What was I going to steady myself on, once I found my scented gateway to hanging out with the Avengers on Hawkeye’s farm? I felt lost, adrift, unable to find my bearings amid Soft Blanket-Fluffy Towels-Home Sweet Home.
And then… rising from the “Fresh” display, there it was.
Mountain Lodge.
It was the moment of truth. What would it be like to smell this infamous candle?
I opened the lid. I took a deep breath.
And I giggled.
Ah yes. This was it. This gentle, pleasantly masculine fragrance, in fact, reduced me to what I’d probably do in the actual presence of Chris Evans: giggle like an idiot.
The smell makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me gently swoon: all reactions that, indeed, can be elicited by an ideal man. I can barely handle the true power of Mountain Lodge.
Several months have passed since this discovery. I have regaled friends with the saga, and after hearing of it, they, too, felt the burning need to smell the candle. One by one, we have all become Mountain Lodge converts.
In times of need, this candle is our refuge. Our group has developed escapist superpowers, infused by the Yankee Candle Company.
Our government is punishing poor people. It is also perpetuating that poor people are a drain upon the economy, whilst MPs and Bankers get paid expenses for things such as hotels, breakfast, and travel. Oh and they spent 235k on wine for their Christmas Party. And 5bn of public money on leaflets with skewed statistics. George Osborne is cutting welfare. None of these “austerity measures” have worked thus far, and they just keep on cutting. Cities that are already poverty stricken are being further reduced. My city is one of the poorest in the UK and it has been further affected by cuts. Also worth noting it’s got one of the highest POC/immigrant rates in the country. Coincidence? No, it’s just racism.
okay i am going to share with you my process, something i have developed over three years of job searching to make the whole nonsense as painless and quick as it can be.
so. first things first: make a google doc. at the very top of the google doc, set up a list of links to job boards, like so, here’s a snippet of my list:
note though that these aren’t just links to idealist, linkedin, whatever - these are links to searches. sites like idealist, linkedin, and charity village let you select options like location, level of experience, and salary range in order to filter job postings. set those filters, run a search, and then copy and paste the URL of that search into your list of job boards. this way, when you click on that link, you will get a list of all the jobs that are relevant to you, updated constantly. it’s quicker than running separate, individual searches every time. i check every board on my list once a day - having the list is a simple way to save time and streamline that whole process.
so, when i open up a job board, i quickly scan it for any positions i’m eligible for.
just by looking at these listings, i can immediately rule out the first one (it’s spam) and the third one (i don’t have any real background in health sciences). but the second job? right up my alley.
i open up the listing in a new tab and scroll right to the qualifications section to see if i’m qualified - no point reading an entire listing only to find out that i’m missing some mandatory criterion, like, idk, speaking spanish, or having a law degree. here’s what that section looks like in the horton’s kids listing:
i have every one of these qualifications, so, great, i can add this to my list.
remember that google doc with the list of job boards at the top? add another section: jobs to apply for. create entries for each listing that look something like this:
the name of the organization is a link to the job ad. i’ve also got the title of the job, the website of the organization, the day the ad was posted, the day i have to apply by, the day i DID apply (which i will fill in once i apply, and bump this to the “jobs i have applied for” section), and then a list of required elements of the application and any relevant details.
the next thing you need to do, and by far the hardest component of applying for jobs, is to write a cover letter. make it a good one. and by this, i don’t mean, “sit down and write out a page-long cover letter for every single job you apply to” - i mean, write a strong cover letter that describes who you are and what your qualifications are, and include a couple of places where you can “personalize” the letter to include details that are specific to the job posting. basically, just write a really good canned cover letter and include three or four sentences that specifically address the job and why you are what they specifically are looking for. if you’re applying for different types of jobs, you can have different types of canned cover letters - for instance, i have separate cover letter templates for communications jobs, administrative jobs, policy jobs, and lgbtq/feminist organization jobs. each one highlights different pieces of my resume that are relevant to those areas, and all i have to do is plug in a few details about the specific posting. but spend time on these canned cover letters. make them good. make them not sound canned.
anyway, once you’ve written your cover letter, send the e-mail, attach the resume, and move the listing to the “jobs i have applied for” section. do this as quickly as possible. like, ideally, the day the posting goes up. never wait for the deadline to submit an application. i like to colour code listings, just for personal convenience - yellow = the deadline hasn’t passed yet, red = rejection, green = you’ve been asked to interview. oh and number your applications.
once you’ve submitted your job application, keep track of any developments in your application like this:
honestly as someone who lives with an anxiety disorder, and for whom job applications are especially stressful, this approach works for me because it’s so systematic. i don’t have to agonize over every single little detail. i can just scan my job boards, make an entry on my list, send a cover letter and resume, and move tf on. and as long as my cover letter is good and i’m attentive about sending applications in as soon as i can, i don’t sacrifice quality.
i hope that helps??? let me know if you want any more tips. <3
this showed up at a perfect time.
This is very similar to my process for Job Searching While Depressed (documented here) but has some interesting twists and tips I hadn’t thought about. Good reading for job hunters!
"If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also"
Matt 5:39
This specifically refers to a hand striking the side of a person’s face, tells quite a different story when placed in it’s proper historical context. In Jesus’s time, striking someone of a lower class ( a servant) with the back of the hand was used to assert authority and dominance. If the persecuted person “turned the other cheek,” the discipliner was faced with a dilemma. The left hand was used for unclean purposes, so a back-hand strike on the opposite cheek would not be performed. Another alternative would be a slap with the open hand as a challenge or to punch the person, but this was seen as a statement of equality. Thus, by turning the other cheek the persecuted was in effect putting an end to the behavior or if the slapping continued the person would lawfully be deemed equal and have to be released as a servant/slave.
I can attest to the original poster’s comments. A few years back I took an intensive seminar on faith-based progressive activism, and we spent an entire unit discussing how many of Jesus’ instructions and stories were performative protests designed to shed light on and ridicule the oppressions of that time period as a way to emphasize the absurdity of the social hierarchy and give people the will and motivation to make changes for a more free and equal society.
For example, the next verse (Matthew 5:40) states “And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.” In that time period, men traditionally wore a shirt and a coat-like garment as their daily wear. To sue someone for their shirt was to put them in their place - suing was generally only performed to take care of outstanding debts, and to be sued for one’s shirt meant that the person was so destitute the only valuable thing they could repay with was their own clothing. However, many cultures at that time (including Hebrew peoples) had prohibitions bordering on taboo against public nudity, so for a sued man to surrender both his shirt and his coat was to turn the system on its head and symbolically state, in a very public forum, that “I have no money with which to repay this person, but they are so insistent on taking advantage of my poverty that I am leaving this hearing buck-ass naked. His greed is the cause of a shameful public spectacle.”
All of a sudden an action of power (suing someone for their shirt) becomes a powerful symbol of subversion and mockery, as the suing patron either accepts the coat (and therefore full responsibility as the cause of the other man’s shameful display) or desperately chases the protester around trying to return his clothes to him, making a fool of himself in front of his peers and the entire gathered community.
Additionally, the next verse (Matthew 5:41; “If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.”) was a big middle finger to the Romans who had taken over Judea and were not seen as legitimate authority by the majority of the population there. Roman law stated that a centurion on the march could require a Jew (and possibly other civilians as well, although I don’t remember explicitly) to carry his pack at any time and for any reason for one mile along the road (and because of the importance of the Roman highway system in maintaining rule over the expansive empire, the roads tended to be very well ordered and marked), however hecould not require any service beyond the next mile marker. For a Jewish civilian to carry a centurion’s pack for an entire second mile was a way to subvert the authority of the occupying forces. If the civilian wouldn’t give the pack back at the end of the first mile, the centurion would either have to forcibly take it back or report the civilian to his commanding officer (both of which would result in discipline being taken against the soldier for breaking Roman law) or wait until the civilian volunteered to return the pack, giving the Judean native implicit power over the occupying Roman and completely subverting the power structure of the Empire. Can you imagine how demoralizing that must have been for the highly ordered Roman armies that patrolled the region?
Jesus was a pacifist, but his teachings were in no way passive. There’s a reason he was practically considered a terrorist by the reigning powers, and it wasn’t because he healed the sick and fed the hungry.
Yes, and isn’t it telling that the state ultimately adopted Christianity and started teaching everyone that Jesus said to obey your parents and to just do what you’re told…else he’d send you to hell?
Sometimes people who talk about asexual and/or aromantic “issues” seem to not grasp that it goes beyond “Asexual and/or Aromantic people need to know they’re not broken.” First of all, feeling “broken” is a side effect. Second of all, discussing “issues” we face goes beyond encouraging asexual and/or aromantic people by saying that “you’re not broken.”
It means addressing attitudes that posit sexual and romantic attraction as the norm and therefore what makes people inherently human, recognizing that asexual and aromantic people are impacted by heteronormativity as well.
It means realizing that with increasing visibility of asexuality and aromanticism, comes increasing difficulties as prejudiced attitudes and behaviors become more and more visible as a form of backlash.
It means addressing the various barriers in place that make identifying as asexual and aromantic difficult for people who are marginalized on the axes of gender, race, religion, ability, and so on.
It means preventing people from going to corrective lengths to “cure” asexual and aromantic people, and addressing how asexuals and aromantics are uniquely impacted by rape culture.
It means preventing people from trying to medically diagnose and treat asexual and aromantic people, and understanding that just because it is no longer listed as a mental illness, doesn’t mean people aren’t still treated this way.
It means understanding how survivors can and may identify as asexual and aromantic, and how their status as survivors do not mean that their identity is invalid and that living with medical issues also do not invalidate one’s identity.
It means providing all-inclusive sexual education that does not isolate and dehumanize asexual and aromantic people, because not experiencing sexual or romantic attraction does matter when it comes to teaching about healthy relationships and sexual health.
And so on…
These identities aren’t simply quirky misunderstood identities popularized by tumblr in which social justice circles simply need to be aware of and in which people simply need to say an encouraging word or two about it to make us feel better about ourselves. It is a legitimate identity, and while our community is relatively young, our identity is not. It is an identity that requires support and understanding at multiple levels in society and in multiple domains, just like any legitimate sexual or romantic identity would need.
the funny thing abt being homeless is that you can have an income, score temp jobs, make money and still be stuck as fuck in homelessness. its hard to rent an apartment or get consistent income (or a job with health benefits) when you have spotty, erratic work history and big gaping holes in your renter history. they can figure out churches you use for addresses, like. its not that hard to tell on an application that something’s up.
basically, ive found, the whole “work real hard!!!” mindset is too emphasized by people who arent homeless and have no idea how things work. BEING HOMELESS IS YOUR JOB. being homeless is work, yall, i swear to you. finding resources is work and after a couple years you could sell sweatbands to a shoe salesman. its a trauma of powerlessness, you have to read people, you have to lie and you have to know who to be genuine to at the right time when you want to spit back at the world thats shitting and pissing all over you.
it doesnt matter how hard you work- it matters how kind your friends are, the luck you stumble into, and honestly? if you have kids. plenty of homeless people trying to get off the streets and away from the drugs and violence will let themselves get pregnant/start a family with someone even if they dont want to just because there are WAY more options for homeless people with kids, free housing, decent shelter rooms, food, etc. single ppl esp young people in their 20s & 30s are shit out of luck and shelters for us are dangerous, more dangerous than spots you can scout out on your own.
if you don’t even have a car like. it’s terrifying. it’s literally like fight or die trying? and a lot of fucking people die trying. a lot of people die yall you dont understand. they cant handle it, its really fucking difficult to stay even valuing your own soul when this is your life, theyll sink into some addiction to feel okay. or they get hurt, or they push the wrong buttons, or the cops get to them, or whatever.
like feeds at churches and shelters and that shit is just like. push the line through, go home and sleep soundly at night because you Fed Some Hungry Folks. but like listen none of that helps. it helps but like in a superficial way, the same way punching someone and then handing them an ice pack and some pills is helping. youre still playing into a system that keeps people there.
all im saying is like. if youre not worried about your bills and life is good, give that bum a fucking dollar okay. who cares if he’s gonna drink it away, maybe he’s trying to get a bus to another spot, or maybe he’s craving a cheeseburger that will make him feel normal for five seconds and remind him of better times. WHO FUCKING CARES ITS A DOLLAR. if you see someone hitching with their thumb out and they dont look threatening to you (you can tell a stable homeless person by how well-put-together their backpack is, hitchhikers especially since theyre trying to get a ride), pick their ass up, even if they have a dog- that dog is their only protection and true comfort in a cruel world and its probably well behaved and been in a lot of cars very quietly.
like but please just keep homeless people a topic. keep talking about it. because yes like its a huge privilege i have a laptop and internet and a roof over my head another week, but i have met hundreds and hundreds of homeless people who have nothing or maybe a cheap phone w minute cards. like i cant express, even to my friends, all the people ive met who are totally cut off from society and just trying to die happy? even in pain from chronic illnesses, even suffering, they take care of each other, and no one fucking knows.
like when i see people talk about homelessness and it wasnt prompted by me i want to cry because its this invisible world of so much suffering and society does everything in its power to keep it off your mind.
Ultimate security as Harry is the only one capable of opening it.
Myrtle proudly spending her time acting as a guard/lookout.
Later, Harry diligently teaching Ron, Hermione, and a few choice others, like Neville, how to mimic parseltongue so that they can open it too.
Muggleborns experiencing vicious satisfaction that they’re using this chamber as a place of education and defense, reclaiming the very space Slytherin built to rid the school of their presence.
Hermione methodically dismantling the basilisk’s corpse, covertly selling the priceless ingredients to potion masters, using the funds to continue their work - buying books and battle robes and new wands for those who can’t afford it.
(Hermione saving a portion of those ingredients for her own research, straightening in triumph when she learns what basilisk venom does to horcruxes, knowing she has vials of it hidden up in her room).
Harry reverently adding the Chamber of Secrets to the Marauder’s Map, proudly continuing his family’s work and reveling in the difference they’re making.
These students - these kids - choosing to train in a dark, horrifying place that was never meant for them. Learning spells amongst shadows, growing stronger in inches of murky water, the smell of a decomposing corpse in their noses, memories of all that had happened here haunting them. They know this is what war is really like and it helps to push them forward.
Here’s a selection of fantastic LGBT webcomics which have at least one main character who is a person of colour. Check out our LGBTQ webcomic masterlist for more, and feel free to reblog with your own favourites!
Ambrosia: (teen, various) An angel and a human take a road trip fueled by revenge.
All Our Cuts and Bruises: (mature, m/m) Tony Green, banker and father of one, gets roped into adventure against his inclination by Roberto Luciani, esteemed cat burglar and less competent time traveller.
A Woman of Dust: (teen, f/f) A spirited Eternal finds herself the guest of a strange and secretive woman. The more she learns about her host, the more intrigued she becomes.
Sonnet: (everyone, m/m) A fairytale-inspired comic told in a series of seven illustrated sonnets, about two knights that meet by chance while slaying a dragon.
Missing Monday: (teen, f/f) A coming of age webcomic that follows Foyle Leaf and her growing relationship with Monday Rhodes, a girl from another world who appears one day through a doorway in an abandoned clocktower.
The Less Than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal: (mature, m/m) The agreement is simple: Amal does the driving; TJ pays the way - but a 3500 mile journey leaves plenty of time for things to get complicated.
As the Crow Flies: (teen, various) A story about Charlie — a queer 13 year old girl who finds herself stranded in a dangerous place: an all-white Christian youth backpacking camp.
Valley of the Silk Sky: (teen, various) A YA science fiction comic featuring a cast of characters including queer, trans, and asexual people, and the stories of their adventures in the often-dangerous Pocalo Valley.
Ouroboros: (teen, m/m) High school junior Alex has nothing left of his father but his sword. Until a strange boy appears out of nowhere (literally) and steals it.
Shades of A: (mature, various) When openly asexual Anwar Sardar gets dragged to a kink night by his (soon to be ex) best mate, JD; he is surprised to make friends with Chris Slate, a middle aged transvestite with a penchant for Dr Who.
Princess Princess: (everyone, f/f) Amira and Sadie are two very different princesses who decide to take their happily ever after into their own hands.
Prince of Cats: (teen, m/m) Lee Andrew Holtzer is seventeen and should only be worrying about one thing: getting into college. Unfortunately, the talking cats are making that a bit difficult. Luckily, he’s got the support and confidence of his best friend, Frank.
Relativity: (everyone, f/f) Fifteen years from now, Irina Novak sets off on the first manned lightspeed flight, with unexpected consequences to herself and her marriage.
Carrots: (everyone, m/m) A short story about a travelling hero and a single dad.
Dicebox: (mature, f/f) The story of an eventful year in the lives of Griffen & Molly who started off as a couple of itinerant factory workers in a space-traveling future.
hoo boy, here comes some serious talk about fandom mentality.
I feel like there’s a huge failing on readers’ parts to communicate to fic authors how much they appreciate their works or how much it affects them, unless the fic is “fandom famous” for some reason. sometimes it gets translated into demands (which are awful literally do not demand updates from an author ever).
more often than not, it gets translated into silence, and coming from a writer, the silence is probably the worst. you never know if they like it, you never know what the reader actually thinks about it. or even if they read it at all. and it’s… heartwrenching, and nervewracking and you start constantly questioning yourself and wondering if you’re actually good enough or if you belong. and you start comparing yourself. to the people who are popular, to the people with huge followings, to the people who get questions and art and compliments up the wazoo. and you start wondering if you should have bothered writing at all. in some cases you start begging. and in some cases, you do worse.
and it’s terrible. a writer shouldn’t have to beg. a writer shouldn’t have to only get attention when they’re frustrated or upset. a writer shouldn’t have to doubt themselves every time they pick up a pen or open their laptop. a writer should never feel so unimportant that they consider deleting their work–and do. and then be subjected to questions of why they deleted it.
(which, by the way, is kind of a rude thing to do. it’s their content, and they can do with it whatever makes them comfortable. and more than that–why wait until it’s gone to just suddenly unleash your appreciation for it?)
if, at this point, you are thinking, “well, writers shouldn’t write for attention anyway! writers should be writing for themselves!” then you are missing a Very Huge Point about the intricacies of and emotions behind creating art. of course art comes from the self, but art is meant to be shared. with people. like you. art is created for people to talk back to, to engage with, to live alongside–and yes, that in turn bolsters the creator’s own securities and motivation. it’s also a sad testament to the fact that we as a people have come to condemn the notion that anyone, especially content creators, should want attention at all.
and that’s toxic, and an awful mentality to have. (it’s also atrocious marketing. but, that’s another discussion for another time.)
what I’m trying to say here is this: a lot of this could be prevented by one simple thing. if you read a fic you like, *speak up about it.* make some kind of sign. about whether you like somebody’s work, or whether it excites you. reblog it to share with other people, gush in the tags, leave a comment/review if it’s on ao3 or ffn. (authors read tags as much as artists do, trust me.) kudos and likes are fine too, but like with any other kind of art, they’re very invisible. be vocal, y'all. spread the love.
and above all, *tell the author directly.* send them an ask, write a comment, tag them in an appreciation post. I can’t stress that enough. you’d be making someone’s day, relieving some securities, visible or not, instead of being complacent in this system, this mass way of thinking, that only popular writers deserve attention, that it has to be earned through working yourself raw instead of asked for. it causes these cliques and hierarchies and ultimately people start or keep maintaining this idea that people who are at the top deserve to be at the top, and people who get ignored deserve to be ignored. (which I have, in fact, heard people say, and that’s… I don’t even have a word for that.)
I just. something has to give, you guys. we have to stop doing this. we have to stop letting this happen. we have to be kind to our writers before they disappear.
and yes, you can reblog this post. in fact, I’d highly encourage it.
