now for the most part i try and stay very far away from larger political discourse on this bad blu website but this is something that ive noticed gain a lot of traction recently and its rly concerning to me bc this is an extraordinarily damaging and toxic notion that needs to Go Away and yet v few ppl seem to be trying to combat it at all

so, basically from what ive seen so far there are 4 fundamental arguments that the core of this anti-ace sentiment seems to rely on:

• “queerness is inherently based on sexuality and romanticism thus anyone who is not an inherently romantic and sexual being cannot be queer”
  
• “queerness is inherently based on levels of discrimination and that only those who make up the majority of those communities or have been there the longest may determine what discrimination actually is and what levels of it are “enough” to qualify being a part of them”
• “aces/aros are brand new and are invading established queer spaces that they were never a part of historically”
• “asexuality and aromanticism are accepted in broader society as General Male Behaviour and as such have no place under the queer umbrella”

and the thing is that none of them have any basis in reality and all seem to stem from a fundamental misunderstanding of what aro/ace identities are combined w/ this rly immature “we were here first this is Our Clubhouse” attitude

so what i’m gonna do here is pick apart these ideas and hopefully that’ll help at least a few ppl understand why this entire situation is bad:

“queerness is inherently based on sexuality and romanticism thus anyone who is not an inherently romantic and sexual being cannot be queer”

for starters, there is a rly prevalent and large issue wrt the oversexualization of queer identities in our various communities which first and foremost comes from external sources who refuse to conceptualize queer ppl as anything but explicitly sexual beings, but its also something that’s been internalized by a large number of ppl 

romance and sex are not the prerequisites of being queer. i rly dont kno how i’m supposed to explain that beyond “queer ppl do not just exist for sex and romance”. like this argument doesn’t just objectify queer ppl in general, it also at best erases the existence of trans ppl and at worst hypersexualizes them 

like the thing is this train of thought leads into some dark as fuck territory and not only does it actively invite violence towards queer ppl by trying to define us as explicitly sexual objects but it also opens up our communities to actual, legitimate invasion by cishet kinksters/paraphiliacs and the bdsm community that want inclusion 

“queerness is inherently based on levels of discrimination and that only those who make up the majority of those communities or have been there the longest may determine what discrimination actually is and what levels of it are “enough” to qualify being a part of them”

second, this is the very definition of gatekeeping. this right here, this notion of “i know what real oppression is like” used to force ppl away from communities and terms that can help them, is despicable and rooted in bullshit oppression olympics nonsense

now as i’ve said before i could go into all the ways that aro/ace ppl are absolutely discriminated against, i could go into that its genuinely dangerous to be open abt these things in just abt any environment bc of the massive amnt of ppl who believe that ur just uptight or cold and need to be “fixed” or “haven’t been w/ the right person yet”, i could go into my personal history of abuse related to this garbage (which, funfax: was mostly done to me by other queer women! so don’t pretend that its something that only The Heteros do)

but i’m not gonna do that - not bc its painful to do so (altho it definitely is), but bc it literally doesn’t fucking matter

even taking all of that away, aro/ace ppl would still be queer bc the literal, actual, only qualification for being queer is to not be heteroromantic heterosexual and cisgender - if u don’t fall into all 3 of those categories at the same time: congratulations! u can identify as queer

“aces/aros are brand new and are invading established queer spaces that they were never a part of historically”

moving onto the third argument: we’ve been here the whole time

aro/ace identities have existed just as long as everything else has, we didn’t suddenly pop up 2 years ago as a tumblr fad

something else i’d like to point out is that in this argument there lies this weird implication that the majority of aces n aros that want to be a part of the greater queer community are cishet - which is something that couldn’t be farther from the case

the vast, vast majority of ppl that i kno and have seen that identify on the aro/ace spectrum also fall into at least one other category under the queer umbrella, but usually more than that

like to say that aces n aros have not been present from the very beginning is to slap the very history u believe u are defending in the face

“asexuality and aromanticism are accepted in broader society as General Male Behaviour and as such have no place under the queer umbrella”

as far as this last one is concerned, this particular idea has created a v specific and bizzare example that ive seen used as a major (if not the main) argument against aro/ace identities being included in queer spaces: the dreaded Aro Cishet Dudebro™; an awful person who only wants to treat ladies as disposable sex objects without ever having to be attached to them and then wants to be included in queer spaces for it

now putting aside the fact that this is one of the most massive strawmen i have Ever Seen and no one like that is going to put forth the effort to learn that aro ppl are even a thing let alone want to be included in queer spaces w/ ppl that they probably wouldn’t get along w/ v well, its also an argument that conceptually Does Not Understand what aromanticism even is

so real quick lemme just give u the simplest possible run down as to what aromanticism and asexuality are and are not

aromanticism:

• is a lack of romantic attraction to other ppl, either completely or partially
  
• is not being a womanizer or an abuser. it is not just having a lot of one night stands. it is not treating ppl as disposable items. it is not using ppl for sex. it is not “cold and soulless”
  

asexuality:

• is a lack of sexual attraction to other ppl, either completely or partially
  
• is not the same as being a nun. it is not necessarily complete celibacy. it is not “basically just being straight”
  

and to try listing these things under “socially acceptable Male Behaviours” is not only completely baseless and pulled straight out of ur ass, but also completely erases the existence of aro/ace women and nb ppl (whom make up the overwhelming majority of aro/ace ppl that ive encountered shockingly enough)

like i get that ppl want to protect their safe spaces but here’s the thing: at the end of the day i would far rather run the risk of a handful of douchebags trying to claim aromantic status to weasel their way into queer spaces (which is something that happens with literally any queer identity and will continue to happen regardless of whether or not aros n aces are welcome at the queer table) than alienate an entire subset of ppl “just to be safe”

tl;dr please stop trying to shut out aro/ace ppl from communities and language that can genuinely help them for no real reason Thanks